


A Christmas Tale of Two Brothers

by missauburnleaf (orphan_account)



Series: Christmas Stories [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Adorable Fíli and Kíli, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bigotry & Prejudice, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Dinner, Christmas Fluff, Dysfunctional Family, F/F, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Female Homosexuality, Female Relationships, Fíli and Kíli Brotherly Love, Illnesses, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Child Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Past Drug Use, Past Sexual Abuse, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Kissing, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Romance, Protective Fíli, Romantic Friendship, Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-06 05:54:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8737402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/missauburnleaf
Summary: "When Fíli came home from work, he was surprised to see Kíli sitting amidst different boxes, containing Christmas decorations."After some hardships, Fíli and Kíli have found a place to call their home again and they will even become friends with their neighbours, a lesbian couple, only to find out that the girls have some secrets of their own... Merry Christmas, everyone!





	1. Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> So, apparently I'm in a Christmas mood and I want to share this odd little fic with you.  
> Nevertheless, I have to warn you: It's unbetaed!  
> Enjoy, and please let me know what you think!  
> And, oh, the title refers to two books written by one of my favourite writers. Do you know the author and the titles? Just being curious...

When Fíli came home from work, he was surprised to see Kíli sitting amidst different boxes, containing Christmas decorations.

He raised his eyebrows.

"Whoah, what happened here?" he asked.

Kíli turned around, smiling sweetly.

"Sig gave it to me. She said she had bought more than they would need for their Christmas tree", he explained.

"Sig?" Fíli asked, taking off his boots, hanging his messenger bag and anorak on the coat rack next to the door of their cosy flat.

Kíli nodded enthusiastically, fighting with some fairy lights.

"Yeah, the girl next door. She is really nice!"

Fíli couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous.

"You know her well then, hey?" he asked, crouching down next to his baby brother.

Kíli shook his head.

"Not really. We just ran into each other while coming back home at the same time - she had bought some new Christmas decorations after finishing her job at the children's daycare and said that her girlfriend would be rather furious that she was squandering their money on such unimportant things... So, she almost begged me to take some of their older Christmas decorations so that her girlfriend wouldn't know - especially after I had told her that we didn't have any!"

Fíli tried to digest all the information his little brother was conveying.

So this 'Sig' was obviously a lesbian - though Fíli knew that females who were really good friends would call each other 'girlfriends' as well, he somehow felt that this wasn't the case with this 'Sig' and her 'girlfriend'.

"And where do you intend to put it?" he asked Kíli.

The brunet gave him the puppy eyes.

"I thought we would go and buy a Christmas tree tomorrow," he said.

Fíli rolled his eyes. Of course Kíli would want to have a proper Christmas since they didn't have one in years. He remembered living together with their Mum and their uncles. But that was before... before their mother met this asshole who screwed up all of their lives again, dragging Dís and Fíli and Kíli with him...

"Fíli?" Kíli pressed.

The blond smiled so that his dimples became visible.

"Alright... Anything for you, little brother!" he answered, kissing the brunet's forehead, then getting up from the floor.

"Where are you going?" Kíli wanted to know, almost sounding panicked.

"Just taking a shower - work was really exhausting today," he explained and Kíli nodded.

Fifteen minutes later, Fíli re-entered the living room, wearing grey sweat-pants, a white t-shirt and black socks, his still wet hair pulled back into a low ponytail.

Kíli, in the meantime, had abandoned that Christmas decoration on the floor, in order to prepare dinner.

"That smells good", Fíli remarked.

Kíli smiled. "It's just lasagne, you taught me how to make it!"

And that was true. Kíli had always been hopeless in the kitchen, but after the brothers had _moved out,_ Fíli had taught him a few dishes he could cook while Fíli earned the money. Dishes, Fíli had learned to cook from his uncle, Frerin, before their mother took them away from the safety of their home.

"You know, I love lasagne," Fíli answered while sitting down on the living room floor, inspecting the Christmas decoration Kíli had obviously gotten for free from the girl next door. It was good stuff, so maybe this girl - Sig - wasn't that bad!

"That's why I made it today", Kíli said, wrapping his arms around Fíli from behind, burying his nose in the freshly washed, unruly blond curls of his brother.

Fíli basked in the affection his brother was showing towards him.

"So you want to bribe me?" he asked curiously.

"No," Kíli answered, tightening the grip on his brother, "I just want to spoil you, as you always did with me!"

That remark hit home. Fíli didn't know that his brother noticed that! It was true, though. Fíli had always shared his dessert or his treats or other things with his little brother, especially after their mother had dragged them away from the only home they had felt safe in: The house where they had lived together with Uncle Thorin and Uncle Frerin.

"Ach, Kíli, I only spoiled you - as you call it - because I felt you deserved it. Your life wasn't an easy one," Fíli explained.

And it was true. Although Fíli's father was an asshole who got their mother addicted to drugs and was consequently responsible for her becoming a prostitute in order to finance her addiction, Fíli knew at least who his father was. Kíli didn't.

"It could have been anyone who was willing to pay money for sexual intercourse with me," as she had charmingly explained to Kíli when he had asked for his Daddy.

And Kíli wasn't her only souvenir from that time of her life. She had also contracted Hepatitis B and C (as well as syphillis and gonorrhoea) which she had also passed on to Kíli. So Fíli's baby brother had not only been born prematurely and addicted to drugs, thanks to their mother, but also with some serious health issues. Luckily, Kíli was a fighter and his medication had worked.

It had fallen to Thorin to sit in front of Kíli's incubator for hours on end or even to hold this little bundle of life close to his bared chest so that his nephew was able to experience the skin contact which was - according to the nurses - essential for every newborn while Fíli and Frerin had been sitting in the waiting area, sometimes playing with the crappy toys that were provided there.

And, of course, it had been Thorin who had paid for all the medical bills and who had put Dís in rehab shortly after giving birth.

Of course, Fíli (only being three and a half years old at that time) hadn't been allowed on the hospital's neonatal ward, but on his request his baby brother had been presented to him from behind a glass window.

And Fíli had instantly fallen in love with the newborn that had looked more like a little bird fallen out of its nest than a real baby.

"I love you, Kíli, and I will always protect you," had been the words - according to his Uncle Frerin - he had whispered while Uncle Thorin had been holding the tiny and shrivelled up, reddish looking baby on the other side of the glass window, wearing scrubs and a surgical mask.

Kíli had only been a couple of hours old by then, not properly named, but Fíli had given his baby brother his name, without knowing where he had gotten it from.

"I think the lasagne is ready," Kíli suddenly exclaimed and Fíli was hauled back to the present.

While he had idly been sitting on the living room floor, daydreaming about the past, Kíli had already set the table for two and opened a bottle of cheap, sweet red wine.

Fíli couldn't help but smile.

As crappy as his and Kíli's childhood and as fucked up as their mother's life had been, Fíli was grateful that all events had finally led to this, to him being with the greatest source of joy in his life: His little brother.

 

 

 


	2. Christmas Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli and Kíli buy their Christmas tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed.  
> 

When Fíli and Kíli left home around noon the next day in order to go and buy their Christmas tree, Fíli met the two young women living in the flat next to theirs for the first time: They seemed to be about his and Kíli's age, of average height and slim build, one of them with dark blond curls, the other with very long red hair, both of them carrying grocery bags.

"Hi, Sig," Kíli said and the girl with the dark blond curls turned towards him, smiling sweetly.

"Hello, Kíli," she greeted him.

Fíli cleared his throat and Kíli took the hint.

"Oh, I believe you haven't met my brother yet - Sigrid, this is Fíli, my big brother, and Fíli, this is Sigrid, our next door neighbour!"

Fíli nodded towards the girl and she presented him with a slight smile before grabbing the other girl's hand, entwining their fingers.

"Tauriel, I told you yesterday about meeting the boy living in the flat next to ours when you came home from work, remember? Well, this is him, Kíli, and apparently his brother, Fíli. So Kíli and Fíli, this is my girlfriend, Tauriel!"

Fíli nodded towards the other girl as well, who was not smiling like Sigrid, just inclining her head while politely saying, "Hello, nice to meet you two."

Fíli started to feel uncomfortable under her scrutiny and looked towards his little brother who was beaming, well, like a Christmas tree, at the redhead.

Fíli cleared his throat.

"Nice meeting you too, but Kíli and I have some errands to run. So, see you later," he explained, grabbing his brother's arm, dragging him away from the girls and towards the staircase.

"And, Fíli, what do you think? They seem to be really nice, hey?" Kíli asked his brother once they were descending the stairs in order to leave their apartment building.

Fíli shrugged. "I don't know them well enough yet in order to come to a conclusion about them. Just be careful, okay? It's not good to trust people too early," he declared.

Kíli frowned.

"What? Do you think they are dangerous or something? Come on, pretty and polite girls like them? I bet they couldn't hurt a fly," Kíli argued while they were stepping out of the building's front door onto the street.

Fíli stopped dead in his tracks.

"Kíli! You know we need to be careful, don't you? After everything that has happened, to you, to us, I can`t believe how reckless you are!"

Meanwhile, Kíli had stopped as well, turning towards his brother.

"I'm not reckless! I just want to live a normal life, without being scared of my own shadow. And I'm lonely when you are away at work, so it would be nice to have a friend to talk to," Kíli pouted while giving him the puppy eyes.

Fíli sighed, taking his brother into his arms.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think how boring it must be for you to stay at home all day, doing nothing but cleaning and cooking," he whispered before kissing his brother's cheek.

There was a wolf whistle, followed by a rude remark about "bloody faggots" and Fíli let go of Kíli, taking his hand instead, unconsciously mimicking Sigrid's gesture from earlier.

"Come on, let us get that Christmas tree you have been pestering me about since yesterday," he said, winking at his brother and ignoring the idiots who were drawing conclusions about the nature of their relationship without really knowing anything.

It was a fifteen-minute walk from their apartment building to the parking lot of the supermarket where Christmas trees were sold. Fíli felt a little bit sorry for spending some of his hard-earned money on something that would be thrown away after Christmas, but he knew it would make his little brother happy, so he complied.

There were Christmas trees in all shapes and sizes available and Fíli knew that Kíli would rather have one as tall and splendid as the ones they had every year at Uncle Thorin's and Uncle Frerin's house. But such a Christmas tree would also be very expensive and Kíli understood that they were a little bit short on money. Therefore he chose a Christmas tree which was only 150 centimetres high and explained that they could put it on their coffee table, so it would look taller.

In the end, Fíli paid twenty-five Euros for the Christmas tree and he and his brother carried it home together, only to notice a little problem when they wanted to place the Christmas tree on their coffee table: They didn't have a Christmas tree stand!

"Maybe we can ask Tauriel and Sig," Kíli suggested.

Fíli rolled his eyes. "Well, I think they are needing theirs for their own Christmas tree, people normally don't have a spare Christmas tree stand," he remarked.

Kíli just shrugged.

"Well, it won't hurt to ask them, would it? I'm heading over!" he exclaimed, rushing out of the room.

Fíli only shook his head, holding the Christmas tree erect, waiting for Kíli to return, which the brunet did a short while later, without a Christmas tree stand.

"Not very successful, hey?" Fíli asked and Kíli shook his head.

"Nope, apparently, Sig and Tau don't have a Christmas tree stand at all because they bought their Christmas tree in a pot so that they can put it on their balcony after Christmas and re-use it the next year because Tau doesn't like dead plants and a cut Christmas tree is - according to her - either dying or already dead... Why didn't we buy a living Christmas tree in a pot?" Kíli asked.

Fíli shrugged.

"Don't know, baby bro, but now we're stuck with this beauty here... and thus still in need of a Christmas tree stand. You know what? Let's drive over to the DIY warehouse, get a Christmas tree stand and on our way back we can have an early dinner at McDonald's. What do you think?" he suggested, knowing his little brother's love for chips, chicken nuggets, and chocolate milk-shakes.

Kíli seemed to contemplate his proposal, then he nodded slowly.

"Well, okay, that sounds great. We'll be home early enough to head over to Sig and Tau without having to bother with cooking dinner!"

Fíli's eyes widened.

"Wait, what? Why would we head over to the lesbians tonight?" he asked suspiciously.

Kíli drew his eyebrows together. If anything, it made him look cuter.

"Don't call them like that, it's not nice to define them only due to their sexuality. They are great girls, I already like them!" he scolded.

Fíli gave his younger brother the dimples.

"Sorry, but you caught me off guard with that piece of information. It's my day off from work, so I thought we two would spend the evening together, watching something stupid on TV while getting pissed!" he explained.

Kíli gave him the puppy eyes in turn.

"But we always do that... I thought it would be nice to do something different for a change," he argued.

Fíli rolled his eyes.

"Alright, you win, let's meet the girls tonight. It might do us some good to have somebody else's company instead of always relying on each other for entertainment," he relented.

Kíli's reaction was to hug his older brother, kissing him chastely on the lips.

"Thank you, Fíli, it means a lot to me," he said, smiling from ear to ear and then Fíli knew that he had made the right decision if only to see his little brother happy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think.


	3. The Girls Next Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli and Kíli spend the evening with Tauriel and Sigrid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy - although it is unbetaed!

It was a quarter past eight when Fíli and Kíli knocked at the door to Sigrid's and Tauriel's flat. Fíli was carrying a bag of crisps and a six-pack of beer as a hospitality gift.

"That wouldn't have been necessary, boys, we have mulled wine and sweet popcorn," Sigrid declared while ushering Fíli and Kíli inside.

Fíli shrugged. "Just being polite," he answered, handing beer and crisps over to the young woman, wearing casual clothes, consisting of tight fitting light blue sweat-pants, a matching jacket, grey knitted socks and no make-up, but candy pink nail polish, while her dark blond curls were pulled together in a messy topknot bun.

Sigrid led them into the living-room. It looked cosy, with plain white walls, lined up with uncountable white book shelves, a light brown wooden floor, covered by several multi-coloured rugs, dark brown wooden furniture, a black leather couch and two matching armchairs.

As Sigrid gestured for them to take their seats on the couch, Tauriel entered the living room. She was also wearing casual clothes (in her case, dark green, tight fitting sweat-pants with a matching jacket and black knitted socks), some light make-up (only black mascara and transparent lip gloss) as well as strawberry red nail polish and her hair was pulled together in a half up bun, which meant that the upper part of her hair was pulled together in a bun at the top of her head while the rest of her hair fell down to her thighs (and Fíli had never before seen anyone with hair that long).

She smiled shyly while placing a tea warmer on the large dining table in one corner of the living room. "I'm glad you two could come," she simply said, then rushing back into the kitchen, without waiting for a reply.

Kíli cleared his throat.

"So, Sig, what are we going to do tonight?" he asked.

Sigrid smiled sweetly.

"I don't know. What would you like to do? I mean we could just talk, getting to know each other better. Or we could play some board games," she suggested.

Frowning, Fíli exchanged a glance with Kíli. That was something they had never done before. When they were playing games, it was usually video games. But, of course, there was a first time for everything.

"Board games sound great," he finally said.

Tauriel reappeared, this time with a glass tea pot, containing a red liquid.

"The mulled wine is ready," she announced, placing it on the tea warmer, then, again, going back into the kitchen.

"We made it ourselves - it's an old, special family recipe," Sigrid added, winking at the boys, before also disappearing into the kitchen.

Fíli raised an eyebrow.

"I wonder what they have put into it - hopefully nothing too _special_ ," he whispered to his brother.

Kíli mimicked his facial expression.

"What do you mean... drugs?"

Fíli just shrugged and nodded simultaneously.

"Perhaps," was his only response.

Kíli rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on, Fee, Tauriel is a nurse, and Sigrid is a nursery worker. Do you really think they are bad people and would drug us? Why?"

Fíli sighed. "I've experienced stranger things," was all that he said, but tried to make a friendly face when the girls re-entered the living room, each of them carrying a bowl.

"I tried to convince Tau that the popcorn was enough but she insisted on making cinnamon sugared almonds as well... I hope you boys are hungry," Sigrid said, while placing her bowl on the dining table, studying the boys with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, of course, it's been hours since we have last eaten," Kíli answered, getting up from the couch and sitting down at the table. Fíli followed his brother.

In the meantime, Tauriel had handed out glass cups which she was filling now with the mulled wine.

Carefully, Fíli lifted his cup, sniffing its contents. To his surprise it smelled really delicious so he cautiously took a sip, only to find out that it tasted even better.

"Wow, that must be ambrosia," he declared admiringly.

Tauriel smiled proudly. "Well, thank you. It's my stepfather's recipe," she explained.

"Your stepfather's? Well, tell him he is a very talented man next time you see him, to come up with this recipe," Fíli said.

As a response, Tauriel just smiled sadly. "Yeah, sure, as soon as we're on speaking terms again," she mumbled and Sigrid just took her hand, kissing the back of it.

Fíli raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, I didn't want to upset you," he explained, but Tauriel shook her head.

"No, don't be, you couldn't know," she answered.

"What did your stepfather do?" Kíli inquired.

Tauriel looked at him confused.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Kíli took a deep breath, sent a sideways glance to his brother, before focussing his gaze again on the redhead, licking his lips nervously while grabbing Fíli's hand beneath the table. And Fíli understood. Kíli was just reliving some bad memories.

"Well, you said that you are not on speaking terms with him, so I thought he must have done something bad to you so that you don't want to talk to him any more," Kíli elaborated, squeezing Fíli's hand tighter.

Tauriel shared a look with Sigrid, then she turned back her attention to Kíli.

"Well, if you call not accepting your... lifestyle and consequently your future plans and your girlfriend as 'have done something bad to you', then that is what he did to me," Tauriel answered and this time it was her who kissed the back of Sigrid's hand while Sigrid smiled at her.

Fíli averted his eyes. It was a rather private moment between the girls and he felt like an intruder. At the same time he could feel Kíli relaxing next to him.

"Oh," was all that the brunet said, letting go of his brother's hand.

Fíli understood. Kíli had thought that maybe Tauriel's stepfather was such an asshole like theirs, who had beaten their mother and them up on a regular basis. Or had dragged Kíli out of his bed at night while their mother had been passed out on the shabby couch in their small living room... But Fíli didn't want to think about that now. This was supposed to be a happy evening for them. So he cleared his throat.

"Anyways, I think we totally forgot to drink to someone or something before trying that awesome concoction... Well, I drink to us!" he exclaimed, raising his cup.

The others followed his example.

"I drink to friends, old and new," Sigrid added.

"I drink to... to the future," Tauriel said while shrugging.

Now it was Kíli's turn. They all looked expectantly at him. He seemed to be thinking hard, then a smile lit up his face.

"I drink to love!" he finally contributed.

Suddenly, there was a solemn silence in which they all just looked at each other, clinking glasses, drinking the mulled wine and enjoying each other's company.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!


	4. Life Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli tells the girls his and his brother's life story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed.

After several cups of mulled wine, they were spilling their secrets to each other.

"So, you two met in the hospital where Tauriel worked at that time because during one of her night shifts you had been brought to the ER - why?" Fíli asked.

The girls shared a meaningful look.

Then Tauriel slightly nodded and Sigrid took a deep breath.

"When I was sixteen, I met this boy, he was a couple of years older than me and seemed nice enough, though my father and my brother despised him for whatever reason. And then, one year later, I found out that they were right. He... beat me up and... and raped me, just because I refused to have sex with him", Sigrid finally revealed.

"She really was a bloody mess and barely conscious when she was brought to us," Tauriel added and her voice sounded coarse.

"Oh, my god, Sigrid, that's... that's awful!" Fíli exclaimed.

Kíli remained silent, just staring at the girl who seemed to be so cheerful, but had experienced such bad things. Fíli knew what his baby brother was thinking. He remembered their own shitty experiences when they were living with their mother and her new _partner_.

"It was. But now I`m over it - to some extent. And without that horrible incident I wouldn't have met Tauriel," the girl with the caramel coloured curls explained.

Fíli admired the girl's view on things. Following this logic, he must also be grateful to his father for getting their mother addicted to drugs which had led to her becoming a prostitute and thus getting pregnant with Kíli because otherwise he wouldn't have his little brother!

"Still, I feel sorry for you to experience something like that," Fíli added.

Afterwards, they fell silent for a moment.

"And what about you two?" Tauriel finally asked.

Fíli raised an eyebrow.

"You mean how we met? Well, it was also in a hospital. I was about three and a half years old when I instantly fell in love with the ugliest baby I have ever seen...," Fíli explained, winking at the girls and putting his arm around Kíli's shoulders who looked angrily at him. Sigrid giggled, while Tauriel rolled her eyes.

"That's not what I meant... I was asking you about your life's story since you two already know about most of ours," she elaborated.

Fíli exchanged a glance with Kíli. It was up to his little brother to decide how much he was willing to reveal.

"Fair enough," he just mumbled while Kíli took a deep breath and nodded slowly.

Fíli cleared his throat.

"Well, when our mother went to college, she got involved with the wrong kind of guy, my father. He was one of those rich kids who liked to party, drink and do drugs much more than actually study. And apparently our mother seemed to like this kind of lifestyle too. Of course, all was well as long as their parents paid the bills, but when he started to fail his courses, his father refused to pay his tuition fee and the rent for his apartment and he became dependent on our mother because she somehow managed to ace her courses despite everything and her parents continued paying. That is until she fell pregnant with me."

Fíli paused and took a sip from his mulled wine, noticing that the girls seemed to hang on his every word and he couldn't help but feel proud of himself for being such a good storyteller.

"My father's parents demanded that she had an abortion while my mother's parents demanded that they got married. In the end, they eloped without getting married and apparently without my mother having an abortion because otherwise I wouldn't be here now."

He paused again, taking another sip before continuing.

"Unfortunately, they didn't change their lifestyle, though, not even after I was born ten days before Christmas, already addicted to drugs. That was when my grandparents drove all the way up to the city where my mother and father lived in order to convince my mother to come home with them. But before they could do so, they died in a car crash and I stayed with my mother and father until my father left one year later and my mother became a prostitute in order to finance her drugs. This is how she became pregnant with Kíli and contracted Hepatitis B and C and some STDs. When Kíli was born three months prematurely because of her drug addiction and because one of her punter's beat her up, the hospital informed our uncles about our mother's whereabouts and they came immediately to her aid, took care of Kíli and me and sent our mother to rehab. This is how Kíli and me ended up living with our uncles - for a while."

Fíli interrupted himself in order to mentally prepare for the last and worst part of his story and in order to give Kíli time to ask him to stop. But he didn't and so - after finishing his cup of mulled wine - he told them the rest.

"Shortly after my thirteenth birthday, on New Year's Day, our mother took Kíli and me away from our home because she had decided that she wanted to move in with her new partner - another asshole - who got her addicted to booze and drugs again and who would beat up all three of us when he was on a rampage. But that wasn't the worst he did to us... At night, when our mother was completely pissed and stoned, he would come into Kíli's and my room and take Kíli with him into his and our Mum's bedroom. At first, I tried to help my baby brother, but after this asshole beat me up so badly that I lost consciousness, only to wake up hours later in my own vomit, peeing blood for the next three days, I gave up, forsaking my baby brother!"

Fíli's hands were balled into fists and he was breathing heavily, whereas Kíli was simply staring at the table, his fingers playing with his cup's handle.

"Oh, my god, that's so awful!" Sigrid exclaimed, while Tauriel extended one of her hands, placing it on top of Kíli's.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, "I feel kind of bad for ever asking. It's my fault that you two had to relive those memories."

Kíli just shrugged. "What's past is past. It's over now. Fíli and I are happy," he declared.

"What happened to this man? Did you go to the police to have him arrested?" Sigrid wanted to know.

For a moment, both Fíli and Kíli remained silent, exchanging a meaningful glance.

"No, when I was fourteen, Mum walked in on us and... ensured that he would never again hurt anyone," Kíli finally stated.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!


	5. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tauriel and Sigrid are discussing plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> I know, Christmas is over, but this story isn't!  
> I hope you are still interested in reading it.  
> Enjoy!

Sigrid was leaning against the doorframe of their small, light pink bathroom, watching her girlfriend getting ready for bed, drinking in Tauriel's beauty and grace.

"Do you think they can help us, Tau?" she finally asked.

Tauriel, who was currently brushing her teeth, just shrugged, then she leant down over the sink while holding her hair out of the way in order to spit out. Afterwards she rinsed out her mouth with fresh water from the tap, before wiping her mouth dry on her towel.

"I'm certain that they _can_ help us - the question is if they _will_ help us,"Tauriel clarified, exiting the bathroom, turning off the lights.

"You mean, the question is if they _want_ to help us," Sigrid argued and Tauriel shrugged again.

"Semantics," the beautiful redhead said while grabbing her hairbrush and an elastic from the sideboard on her way to the queen sized bed she shared with her girlfriend.

Sigrid followed her, settling down next to Tauriel on the bed, taking the brush out of her hands and starting to fix Tauriel's silky, auburn hair for the night by braiding it.

"We should have asked them right away," Sigrid finally sighed after finishing her task.

Tauriel shook her head. "No, it's too early. We've only just met them. I think we need more time to make them trust us," she explained.

Sigrid nodded slowly while removing the hair from Tauriel's brush.

"Yeah, you are right. Their story... It was so sad! It really made me angry to hear what they had to endure," she confessed.

Then she stood up from the bed in order to throw the hair away and put the brush back onto the sideboard, briefly checking her own appearance in the mirror. Her hair was still in that bun she had worn all evening and she planned to leave it in for the night.

"You coming to bed?" Tauriel mumbled sleepily from beneath the covers.

Sigrid took a deep breath. "Yeah, of course."

After climbing into bed next to her girlfriend, Sigrid wrapped her arms around Tauriel from behind, caressing her flat stomach, pressing a kiss to her neck (and inhaling Tauriel's sweet and exotic scent, like coconut and ginger) while whispering, "I love you, no matter what, you know that, don't you?"

Tauriel hummed in agreement. "Of course, I know. And I love you too, always and forever," she said.

"Good. Because I have no intention of ever letting you go," Sigrid explained while one of her hands slipped under the waistband of Tauriel's grey pyjama pants and into her knickers, separating her folds, massaging her clit, brushing over her entrance, whereas her other hand moved upwards, underneath Tauriel's green t-shirt, in order to tease one of her nipples.

When Tauriel softly moaned, Sigrid smiled to herself. Yes, she knew how to please her lover.

It didn't take long before Tauriel reached her peak, shuddering and crying out in ecstasy, while Sigrid pressed tender kisses to her girlfriend's neck.

"Do you want me to... use my mouth on you?" Tauriel asked shyly after her breathing had calmed down.

Sigrid contemplated the question. She knew how difficult it was for the other woman to voice all things related to sex. Despite Tauriel's bossy nature in general, she was rather timid in the bedroom. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she had never been with anyone else except from Sigrid. However, Sigrid had to admit that she wasn't that experienced either, but she liked being in control during sex.

"No, Baby, it's alright, I'm fine," she finally answered before requesting, "Can you just hold me, please?"

Tauriel complied, rolling onto her back, pulling Sigrid close so that the younger woman could rest her head on Tauriel's chest, listening to her heartbeat; it had a lulling effect on her.

Sigrid was already dozing off, when Tauriel's voice roused her from her light slumber. "So, who is going to do it? You or me?" she asked.

Sigrid shrugged. "I don't know. Let's decide this later, okay? I mean when we know that the brothers will help us," she answered.

"Yeah, you are right... Yet this leads to the question of who of the two should do it... Any preferences?" Tauriel wanted to know; apparently the redhead was in a chatty mood.

Sigrid sighed. "Do you think we should ask this of Kíli? I mean, he went through so much. I can't imagine that this would be easy for him," she replied.

Tauriel hummed. "Well, I think we should leave the decision to them, don't you agree? That means we will ask them both and then let them decide," she proposed.

Sigrid chuckled. "Of course. I didn't mean to patronise him... So there are a lot of decisions ahead of us: You or me - Fíli or Kíli. Yet we haven't even discussed the procedure," she pointed out.

"I'm not going to have sex with either one of them, that's for sure!" Tauriel said firmly, then she asked hesitantly, "Are you, Sig?"

To be honest, Sigrid hadn't thought about it before, but now...

"Honestly? I don't know. I mean, they are really attractive and seem nice enough... But if it bothers you, I won't do it. You are the most important thing in the world to me," she reassured her girlfriend.

"I... I think it would bother me, if you did," Tauriel admitted.

"Then I won't do it, okay? But let's sleep now. It's been a long day and I'm tired," Sigrid said.

"Yes, let's sleep. Goodnight, Baby," Tauriel agreed.

"Goodnight," Sigrid mumbled in response before she fell into a deep slumber.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any idea what Sigrid and Tauriel are planning?  
> Let me know in the comments.  
> Your feedback is very much appreciated.


	6. Dark Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli thinks about the past...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't updated this story for a very long time, yet I hope you are still interested in it.

"So, what do you think of them?" Kíli asked calmly while they were lying in their bed, his head was resting on Fíli's bare chest and his brother's fingers were combing through his hair. Despite everything that had happened to him, Kíli still loved skin contact and cuddling, at least with his big brother.

Fíli shrugged. "They seem nice enough. And they also have their cross to bear respectively," he answered, thinking about what he had learned about the girls tonight.

Tauriel, the beautiful redhead, had been abandoned by her stepfather just because she was in love with another girl. And Sigrid, the pretty blonde, had been sexually assaulted and beaten up by her own boyfriend. Maybe that was the reason why they had bonded that quickly; Sigrid's and Tauriel's lives hadn't exactly been all rainbows and unicorns, something they had in common with him and Kíli.

"I miss mama," Kíli suddenly confessed, pressing himself closer to Fíli who went stiff. His mother was his sore spot, not knowing whether he should be angry with her for screwing up their lives or whether he should feel sorry for her because she was now paying the price for all of her frailties... When he had last talked to Thorin, his uncle had explained that Dís's kidneys had started to fail (a side effect of her former lifestyle and the medication she had had to take against her hepatitis), despite her not drinking any alcohol or taking any drugs since the night she had finally noticed what her fiancé had been doing to her baby boy several nights a week over the last four years and had bashed his head in, something Fíli had not been brave enough to do despite him knowing that their _stepfather_ had been raping Kíli...

 

_Fíli couldn't sleep. Bolg had brutally dragged Kíli out of his bed again and taken him to the bedroom he shared with their mother. Well, was supposed to share, since their mother had passed out on the couch in the living room, too pissed and stoned to notice what was going on around her. Fíli hated Bolg; he worked as a personal trainer at his father's gym and that was how he and their mother had met. Fíli was convinced that Bolg had the instincts of a predator, sensing the weakness in their mother and using that in order to destroy her, giving her drugs and booze although he knew about her former addiction, never touching the stuff himself._

_Fíli felt bile rise in his throat when he thought about what was Bold touching instead at the moment. His baby brother. Fíli knew that he was a coward, not standing up against Bolg, he was taller and stronger now, after all, maybe better fit to defend Kíli than all those years ago when Bolg came into his and Kíli's bedroom for the first time._

_Yet Bolg had threatened to kill Kíli and his mother if Fíli dared to ever try again to stop him, so Fíli just stayed in bed, pretending to sleep until Kíli would drag himself back into their room, curling up in a tight ball on his bed, crying silently. Then, Fíli would go over to him, take him into his arms and just hold him until Kíli would fall asleep. The next morning he would help his brother to clean up._

_But tonight something was different._

_Fíli could hear crashing sounds coming from the living room and assuming that his mother had woken up, he got out of bed to look after her, to make sure that she would not hurt herself in her state._

_But apparently, he was too late. His mother had already left the living room and was now opening the door to her bedroom._

_"Mama, no, wait!" Fíli shouted, not wanting his mother to see what Bolg was doing to Kíli._

_His mother didn't seem to hear him. For a moment she just stood there breathing heavily, then she started to scream, staggering into the bedroom._

_"You disgusting bastard! What are you doing to my baby? How... how can you? You are supposed to be like a father to him!" she screeched and when Fíli followed her into the bedroom, he could see that she was trying to pull Bolg off of Kíli._

_"Don't touch me, bitch! Did you really think I would be interested in a dirty whore like you? Of course it was your sweet little boy I wanted, not you," he shouted, shoving Dís away so that she fell to the ground._

_"Mama!" Fíli called out, rushing over to her, helping her to her feet._

_In the meantime, Bolg had gotten out of bed, completely naked, and was towering over them while Kíli was cowering in the farthest corner of the bed, his head in his hands, rocking ´his upper body back and forth, something he always did in order to calm himself down._

_For a moment Fíli didn't know whether he should defend his mother against Bolg or whether he should console Kíli, then the decision was made for him._

_Dís drew herself up to her full height, looking Bolg challengingly into the eyes._

_"Go on, then, hit me, like you have done so many times before, there's nothing you can do to me that would hurt me more than that what I have just seen... You asshole!" she said, slightly slurring the words due to the drugs and alcohol._

_Everything happened very fast afterwards._

_Bolg slapped Dís very hard so that her head hit the wall behind her, yet in spite of that and her intoxicated state, Fíli's mother grabbed the heavy lamp on the nightstand and whacked Bolg over the head with it._

_The big guy sank down to his knees, holding his head._

_Yet Dís wasn't finished. Again and again she hit Bolg over the head with the lamp, bashing his brains in, until she and Fíli and the bedclothes were covered in blood and a greyish, gooey mass._

_Finally Fíli was able to react, putting his arms around his mother, trying to calm her down. As if on cue, she dropped the lamp and went limp in his arms._

_Fíli helped her to sit down on the floor, then he checked Bolg for any vital signs (though he knew it was futile) before climbing onto the bed, hugging Kíli, helping him to cover his nakedness with one of the blankets. For a long time they just sat like this until their mother spoke up, "We need to call Thorin. He has to help us with this."_

 

And they had exactly done that. Fíli had entangled himself from his little brother and had called his uncle.

"I miss mama, too, Kíli. Maybe we should visit her soon, her and Thorin and Frerin. What do you say?" he suggested.

"That would be awesome, Fee. I love you!" Kíli answered happily, raising himself up and pressing a quick kiss to Fíli's lips before settling down again on his big brother's chest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!  
> Your comments are very much appreciated.


	7. Mama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fíli and Kíli arrive at their uncles' home...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, so, please, enjoy!

After a three-hour drive, Fíli stopped their car in front of the iron gate of their uncles' impressive mansion, their former home.

He rang the bell and looked straight into the security camera so that one of their uncles would be able to identify him and grant them access to the property.

After a few moments, an unfamiliar voice asked over the intercom, "Who are you and what can we do for you?"

Fíli frowned. "I'm Fíli Durinson and I have been invited to visit my mother Dís Durinson and my uncles Thorin and Frerin Durinson, together with my little brother, Kíli," he answered, waiting for the gate to open.

"All right, Mr Durinson, I've just checked with Mr Durinson and I'll open the gate now," the unfamiliar voice announced and then there was the typical buzzing accompanied by some squeaking when the gate finally swung open.

Fíli got back into the car and followed the driveway leading to the house.

His uncle Frerin was already waiting for them in the doorway, when Fíli parked the car and Kíli practically jumped out of it, running towards the stout, blond man who looked like an older version of Fíli - except for his eyes: Frerin had amber yes, like their mother, like Kíli.

"Uncle Frerin!" he cried and threw himself into the other male's arms as if he was still a little boy and not a fully grown twenty-one-year old.

"Kíli! It's so good to see you!" uncle Frerin answered, hugging the slightly taller young man with dark, wavy hair tightly.

Fíli smiled while locking the car's doors and slowly walking over to them.

"Hey, Uncle Frerin," Fíli coolly said, waiting for his turn to embrace his uncle.

Afterwards, Frerin led them into the house, through the hallway and into the living room where they would have tea or coffee and some cake. To his surprise, Fíli could see that the table was set for six, not five.

"Are we expecting anyone else for tea?" Fíli asked his uncle, pointing to the table.

Frerin laughed sheepishly. "Oh, well, I think we forgot to tell you... Mr Baggins is currently living with us, helping out wherever he can, preparing meals, cleaning the house, taking care of your mother, gardening" he explained.

Fíli exchanged a glance with his brother. "So what happened to the old staff, like your butler, your cook, your gardener?" Fíli wanted to know.

His uncle shrugged. "We sadly had to part with them because we... couldn't afford their services any more... Due to your mother's medical bills, you see," he confessed, "and Bilbo, that is Mr Baggins's first name, is doing all these things for a mates' rate."

Fíli nodded slowly. He felt bad that Thorin and Frerin had some money problems because Dís was seriously ill, thinking that he and Kíli should be able to provide for their mother. "I'm sorry, uncle," Fíli finally said.

Frerin shrugged. "Don't be. Bilbo's decent company. He has a positive influence on all of us," the blond man explained while looking towards the kitchen with a fond smile.

"So, why is he doing this? Is he a friend of yours? Or of Thorin?", Fíli further inquired.

Frerin turned his attention back to his nephews and shook his head.

"No, he is your mother's friend. It was actually her who invited him to live with us," Frerin revealed. Immediately, Fíli drew his eyebrows together. "He is mama's new boyfriend?", he asked suspiciously.

This assumption drew an unexpected response from Frerin; he roared with laughter.

"Boyfriend? Oh no, definitely not! Yet when your mother's health deteriorated, she spend a lot of time online, chatting with all kinds of people. That's how she got to know Bilbo. He's a popular writer, by the way. And he likes to lurk incognito in chatroom forums that discuss his books... That's how they met, they chatted about his books. At some point he revealed his true identity to her and also confessed that he was currently suffering from writer's block. So, she invited him to spend some time here, at our property at the arse-end of the world," the blond man explained.

Fíli nodded, finally getting the whole picture. Their mother was sick and lonely out here, so she was glad to have a friend around while her brothers were busy working.

"Fíli, Kíli, we are so glad to finally see you again!", Thorin's voice boomed from the stairs and the brothers turned around, only to be taken aback by what they saw; their uncle was carrying their mother down the stairs. She looked thin and pale, yet her face was still as beautiful as ever and it lit up - well, like a Christmas tree - as soon as she recognized her sons. "Oh, my babies, I've missed you so much," she declared weakly, reaching out to them with her hand that was not slung around her older brother's neck.

"Mama!" Kíli suddenly cried, running towards his mother and uncle, hugging the dark-haired woman tightly while she was still in his uncle's arms.

"Oh, Kíli," Dís whispered while peppering her younger son's face with kisses, hugging him back.

For a moment, Fíli watched them, then he walked over.

"Hello, Mama", he whispered, kissing her cheek, embracing her tightly as well.

"Oh, Fíli, my little warrior, my lion," she mumbled before returning the gesture, tears glistening on her long, dark eye lashes.

Thorin cleared his throat. "I think we should move this from the staircase to the table, boys, as thin as your mother is, with time she gets heavy," he explained, smiling fondly at his nephews and his younger sister.

Fíli nodded, blinking back tears. "You're right, uncle, let's finally have tea and talk!"

To everyone's surprise, Frerin clapped his hands. "That's a great idea since I'm starving. And whatever Bilbo is baking there, it smells delicious!" he enthusiastically declared.

The others all agreed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> As always, I'm curious about what you think...


	8. Tea, Scones, and Bilbo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family eats and talks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my beloved mother who has recently passed away.

As soon as they had all settled down around the coffee table, a rather small and plumb looking man with caramel coloured curls entered the living room, carrying a tray with a silver tea pot, a silver coffee pot, a basket certainly containing some baked goods, a crystal bowl filled with clotted cream, different containers with marmalade and jam.

"Good afternoon," he simply said while placing the tray on the table before turning towards Fíli and Kíli. "You must be Fíli and Kíli, Dís's wonderful sons and Thorin and Frerin's nephews. I'm Bilbo. Bilbo Baggins, at your service," he declared while shaking their hands.

"Fíli," Fíli said and then his dark-haired brother piped up, "And Kíli," before adding together, "At yours and your family's!"

This old-fashioned greeting seemed to break the ice and the family plus Bilbo dissolved into laughter, before Frerin gestured towards the unoccupied seat beside him on the couch. "Come, Bilbo, sit down, you've done enough for today, making your wonderful English breakfast for Dizzy, Thorn and me this morning, your delicious tomato-and-cream soup with homemade ciabatta bread for lunch and now... this!"

Bilbo frowned. "You obviously mean my scones with clotted cream and strawberry jam or marmalade, Frerin, a family recipe. But I guess you are right, I've tried everything to get our beautiful Princess to eat today - and I have obviously failed," the short man confessed while sitting down.

Fíli scowled. "Mama?", he asked.

Dís just cleared her throat (and it didn't go unnoticed by Fíli that she was still sitting very close to Thorin, her head resting on his shoulder while his arm was tightly wrapped around her).

"I... I'm not that hungry any more... You know, the medication, the treatments at the hospital... Yet if it weren't for Bilbo and his cooking I don't think that I would have eaten anything at all," she revealed, then slightly leaning forward and sharing a conspiring glance with her oldest son, she added, blinking, "You know your _daddy and dada_ 's cooking, don't you!"

It was an inside joke.

Since Fíli and Kíli had been very little when they had started to live with their uncles (Fíli had been a toddler, Kíli a newborn baby), their uncles had been the only fathers they had known. And so, with a child's innocence, Fíli had one day started to call his uncle Thorin "Dada" and his uncle Frerin "Daddy" (contrary to Kíli, for whom uncle Thorin had been "Daddy" and uncle Frerin "Dada"), until the nursery school teacher and the principal had asked some questions that had been embarrassing and humiliating, accusing Dís of having incestuous relationships with her brothers.

Luckily, Thorin (contrary to Frerin who had lost his temper with "that infuriating shrew") had been able to set things straight, saving them from becoming a case for the Family Court, explaining that neither Kíli nor Fíli knew their real fathers' identity and that Thorin and his younger brother had gladly filled that void in the little boys' lives.

So, the teacher had officially apologized to them (first to Thorin, then to Dís and Frerin), yet they had been advised to send Fíli to a different nursery school since rumours had already started to spread, and they gladly had done so.

"Hey, that's not fair! I make one hell of a lasagne - and my homemade pizza isn't that bad either," Frerin complained in a mock scandalized tone.

"He's actually right, Mama, it was Uncle Frerin who taught me how to make certain dishes - and I taught Kíli. Plus, having some basic cooking skills has come in handy when I was searching for a job: I'm the sous chef in our town's finest diner," Fíli explained, winking at his uncle who grinned back.

"Always conspiring against me," Dís mumbled while helping herself to a scone, some clotted cream and a spoonful of strawberry jam whereas Bilbo poured her a cup of tea.

Actually, Dís and Bilbo were the only ones to drink tea; Frerin and Thorin drank their mandatory coffee (black, no milk, two sugar cubes). For a moment, Fíli contemplated if it were impolite to drink coffee as well since the scones were something typically British, but when Kíli shyly requested some cocoa, Fíli decided it was alright to go for coffee like his uncles (in his case with a splash of milk and one sugar cube).

Once they were all indulging in the afternoon snack Bilbo had prepared, Fíli could almost pretend that they were a normal family, enjoying a family meal together.

Almost.

His mother was still looking too frail, his uncle Frerin was still looking too guilty, his uncle Thorin was still looking too concerned and Bilbo was still looking too optimistic. The consequences of their mother's past was still hovering like the sword of Damocles over them.

Finally, it was Kíli who dared to broach the subject. "So, how serious is Mama's condition?" he wanted to know.

Thorin choked on his scone, yet it was Frerin who answered, "Very serious. She needs to go to the hospital for dialysis three times a week, has to watch her diet and feels sick and tired most of the time... and I'm about to donor one of my kidneys to her."

This time it was Fíli who choked.

Dís sighed. "Thank you, brother dear, for unsettling my sons," she bluntly said.

Frerin made a frustrated sound. "Well, it's true, isn't it? Without dialysis you wouldn't be able to survive. And as your brothers, Thorin and I got tested if we are fit to give you one of our kidneys. Maybe it's fate that it is me whose tissue matches yours so that I can give you my kidney," he revealed.

Fíli frowned. "Why is that?"

The siblings exchanged meaningful glances.

"It was me who introduced your mother to your father, Fíli. Nori was one of my best friends back then," Frerin confessed.

Fíli didn't know. He had never before heard his father's name, let alone be aware of the fact that it had been due to his uncle Frerin that his mother and father had met.

"I-I didn't know," Fíli exclaimed.

"Of course, you didn't, since I avoided the topic for good, Frerin," Dís scolded her brother, though the cat was out of the bag.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dís's nickname "Dizzy" was inspired by delorita and SilverFountains who use it in their stories.  
> Your feedback is always welcome.


	9. Naked Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frerin tells Fíli the truth about his mother's health.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's hard when you find out that the person you love the most was keeping secrets from you in order to protect you from the truth about her condition.  
> I love you, Mama, and I will always remember you!

After tea, Bilbo rushed back into the kitchen to do the dishes and Thorin was about to carry Dís back upstairs since she was exhausted and needed some rest.

"I'm sorry, boys, but I think I need my beauty sleep... But I'll see you at dinner, won't I?" she asked.

Fíli and Kíli first exchanged a glance with each other, then with their uncles.

Thorin just raised his eyebrows while Frerin nodded slightly.

"Sure, why not? It's not as if somebody is expecting us back home," Fíli finally said and Dís looked relieved.

"Great! Now I'm not only looking forward to Bilbo's delicious cooking but also to your decent company," Dís declared and then Thorin turned around to climb the stairs with her in his arms.

"Wait, Mama, I'm coming with you!" Kíli suddenly exclaimed and followed his uncle Thorin, leaving Frerin and Fíli standing alone in the hallway.

As soon the others were out of earshot, Fíli turned towards his uncle.

"Why didn't you tell us how bad her condition is? We would have come more often," he hissed, scowling.

Frerin sighed. "You know your mother, kid, she can be as stubborn as a mule... She didn't want to upset you, said she has already ruined your lives enough as it is...," he explained.

"But still, she is our mother," Fíli mumbled.

Frerin put his hand on his nephew's shoulder to offer some kind of support. "I know, Fíli, I know how hard this must be for you - Dizzy, Thorn and me lost our parents at a young age and not a day goes by without us thinking about them," Frerin confessed.

Fíli looked at his uncle suspiciously. "What are you trying to say? That mama is going to die?" he asked sharply.

Frerin sighed again. "Well, it doesn't look good. You know that your mother is seriously ill. And if it were only for her kidneys, there would be a good chance that her body accepted my kidney and that she would make a full recovery. Yet her liver is also affected due to the hepatitis she had contracted when... you know. And it appears that the hepatitis has caused a hepatocellular carcinoma. Liver cancer. They just did a needle biopsy of her liver on Wednesday and we got the results on Friday. Plus there are mets in her abdominal wall and spine, according to the CAT scanner. I'm sorry, Fee," his uncle explained.

Fíli felt like fainting. Suddenly his knees were like jelly and there was a a ringing in his ears.

"Hey, kid, sit down, alright? I can't have you collapsing here in the hallway - Thorin's going to kill me, Bilbo's going to kill me - not to mention what your mother will do to me as soon as she finds out!" Frerin said nervously, feebly joking while trying to help his oldest nephew to support his weight.

"I- I think I'm gonna be sick!" Fíli mumbled, clinging to his uncle for dear life, pressing a hand to his mouth, trying to keep the three scones down he had eaten earlier, along with a lot of clotted cream and strawberry jam.

"Fíli, please, try to get your act together!", Frerin pleaded while hugging the blond young man tightly.

"What's going on?" Thorin, who had come down the stairs again, suddenly demanded to know.

"I told him," Frerin confessed to his older brother.

Thorin immediately strode over to his brother and nephew, embracing them. "I know it's hard, Fíli. Bilbo had a nervous breakdown when we found out and your uncle Frerin emptied half a bottle of brandy although it was only ten o'clock in the morning... Yet you should know that they try everything they can to save your mother! Her cytotoxic therapy will start as soon as possible! Frerin and I will take her to the hospital tomorrow for further testing, along with Bilbo. For some reason this strange little fellow's presence seems to calm her down," Thorin explained.

"Where's... where's Kíli? He's always had this special connection with Mama... He might not take the news well," Fíli croaked, remembering how much alike his little brother and their mother were.

"He's currently with her, reading to her from one of her favourite books," Thorin revealed, smiling fondly, "He insisted to lie down next to her like he did when he was a little boy though Dizzy protested, claiming he's too old for that!"

"Yeah, Kíli likes cuddling," Fíli whispered absentmindedly.

Liver cancer. And metastasis. That didn't sound good. Fíli suddenly was aware that he might lose his mother. Yet she was still so young, only forty-four. Fíli always thought that he would have years and years to spend with his mother, however, as it turned out now, it might only be weeks or months. And only a couple of minutes ago he had been completely clueless...

"Thorin? Were you going to tell us?" he asked, looking his uncle straight in the eyes.

Thorin sighed, yet he held his oldest nephew's gaze. "If it were to me, I would have called you as soon as we found out - yet your mother didn't want to. Actually, she begged me and Frerin to not tell you anything since she didn't want to ruin Christmas for you. So I don't understand why Frerin told you," Thorin answered, looking accusingly at his younger brother.

"I felt he deserved to know, Thorn. When was the last time the boys had visited their mother? Your birthday in August? Don't you think that they would never forgive us if their mother died unexpectedly?" Frerin tried to defend himself and Fíli started to feel uncomfortable, being sandwiched between his uncles who seemed to disagree on this point.

For some reason, he wished that he was alone with Kíli and his mother since the three of them had always been a unit, even when living together with Frerin and Thorin... or Bolg.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to work through some personal issues with the new chapters.  
> I hope you can understand.


	10. Empty Cradle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tauriel is sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another, not so happy chapter.

"Love? You alright?" Sigrid asked from the doorway.

Tauriel just cleared her throat, closing their medicine cabinet, trying to hide from her girlfriend that she had been taking some very strong pain killers in order to get her migraine and back pains in check.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she claimed. (But was she really fine? It had started like this with her mother though neither her nor her stepfather and stepbrother had taken it seriously then).

Sigrid snorted, rolling her eyes. "You've always been a bad liar, you know," she simply stated, entering their small bathroom, embracing her lover from behind, resting her chin on the older woman's shoulder.

"I know," Tauriel whispered, placing her hands over Sigrid's, both of them grabbing at her still flat middle, "Maybe I'm not fit for this... You should try, since I've already failed!" she added bitterly.

Sigrid sighed, pressing a kiss to Tauriel's neck.

"Don't phrase it like that... Maybe he has failed! Maybe his sperm wasn't that good," the blond girl argued, yet Tauriel shook her head vehemently.

"You've seen his spermiogram... It was excellent! It must have something to do with my eggs... You know, I've told you that I didn't eat properly after my mother's death, that I've lost a lot of weight, that I was too thin. Maybe I have ruined my fertility back then," Tauriel voiced her deepest concern.

"Well, then I'm not fit either since I've also not eaten properly after _my_ mother's death," Sigrid explained, just embracing her girlfriend tighter, reminding her of one of the experiences they had in common, the early loss of their respective mothers (Tauriel had been fourteen, Sigrid only eleven), the rape (though Tauriel vehemently refused to speak of hers - she only revealed certain details one night when Sigrid had been able to get her properly drunk), the bullying at school (since they had been considered nerds by their classmates).

"So, if we will never be able to have a child together... would you still stay with me?", Tauriel suddenly asked, searching for her girlfriend's eyes in the bathroom mirror.

Sigrid drew her eyebrows together. "Of course! Because I love you!" she answered honestly.

"Love you too!" Tauriel replied, turning around in her girlfriend's arms, kissing her soundly.

When they separated, Sigrid studied Tauriel's expression for a moment. "Yet you are still willing to try again, aren't you? I mean, we've just agreed on trying with them..." she added for consideration.

"Yes, of course. We've already decided, haven't we. Although Fíli and Kíli are still completely clueless..." Tauriel reminded the other girl.

Sigrid sighed. "I know. I would have broached the subject last night when they were here, yet the story of their lives threw me completely off track! After finding out what happened to them we couldn't just ask this favour, could we," she explained and Tauriel shook her head. "No, we couldn't. And thus we still don't know if they are alright with the idea... Let's go over to them tonight, surprise them with dinner and wine and then we can ask," she suggested.

Sigrid smiled slightly. "Sounds like a good plan. But I don't know if they will be home early. Kíli texted that they wanted to visit their mother and uncles today," she revealed.

This time, Tauriel sighed. "Their family lives further away, if I remember correctly, so they might possibly even spend the night since Fíli has the day off tomorrow, meaning we'll have to wait until tomorrow evening then," she stated.

"Yes, we'll wait until tomorrow," Sigrid agreed and pulled Tauriel closer, kissing her again before tentatively suggesting, "And, you know, maybe both of us should try to get pregnant..."

Tauriel froze. "I don't think that's a good idea, Sig. What if we are both successful? We can't afford that - one of us needs to work full time!" she protested.

"Yet it would double our chances to actually get pregnant. I've seen how much it has bothered you the last couple of months when you got your period after a negative pregnancy test, hoping against hope," Sigrid argued.

Tauriel drew her eyebrows together and lowered her gaze. It still hurt to think about it. So many women got pregnant without wanting to - so why couldn't she get pregnant? There was nothing she wanted more at the moment. After losing her mother, she had always felt numb and lonely, almost as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest and then been replaced by an ice cube.

It got a little bit better after she had met Sigrid and fallen in love with the pretty girl. But she still felt incomplete, as if a part of her was missing and she somehow had the feeling that having a baby on her own would help her, would heal her wounded soul, would make her feel whole again.

Maybe she was just fooling herself with that belief. Maybe not.

And maybe she would never find out because she would never get pregnant.

Despite herself, she felt tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Oh, baby, please don't cry, you know that I can't stand it when you cry!" Sigrid immediately whispered and took the other woman into her arms and Tauriel gladly accepted the comfort she was offered, pretending that in time everything would be all right.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your feedback is very much appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe I will abandon this story...


End file.
